Archive for NFL

Because It’s Never Too Early To Start…

Given the success of the wacky formula I came up with to predict the outcomes of college basketball games, I’ve decided to try my hand at creating a similar formula to predict the outcomes of NFL games. Readers, new and old, maybe have a couple questions about this.

The new group might ask, “Hey, stupid, why don’t you try to create a formula to get a better grip on picking baseball winners. Or are you satisfied with that 192-190 record?” To which I respond, there are quite enough formulas out there that try their hand at predicting baseball. The world doesn’t need yet another one, and I wouldn’t even know where to begin since the game is far more complex, in my estimation, than football or hoops.

The old group, meanwhile, might derisively remark, “Too bad you made that bet and lost to a computer, huh, dipshit? That’s what you get for mouthing off to Arrow Smith! Now your precious little formula can only be applied to professional football!” And to that group I say, touche.

Of course, there’s the whole matter of whether this heavily statistically-reliant formula should, in fact, be considered “my” picks. Essentially, I’m letting the numbers do the talking. But that’s a debate to be contested on another day.

Once I figure out exactly what stats and what-have-you that I’m going to plug into the formula, I’ll get started. It’s obviously a work in progress, but then again, I should have plenty of time to tinker with it before the season starts in September. (One thing’s for sure: sacks will be looked at. [Wow, that came out wrong. {That may have, too.}])

I’ll keep you posted.

(Oh, by the way, that ground ball pitchers vs. speedy hitters study was a bust. I’ll post the Excel link at some point, but I can officially say that there is little if any correlation present besides an increased window of opportunity to steal bases.)

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NFL’s Annual Campaign Against Student-Athletes Under Way


Dr. Horacio Nicaragua has compiled a list of Wonderlic scores for some of this year’s NFL Draft’s prospects over at his blog.

This list, which really started to attract attention when Vince Young was discovered to be borderline retarded, continually delivers a black eye to the institution of collegiate athletics. Young was initially rumored to have scored a 6, a Wonderlic score usually reserved for the illiterate.

Young is not alone, however. San Francisco 49ers running back Frank Gore also scored a 6 on his Wonderlic, and Javon Walker scored a 9. A score of 20 indicates average intelligence, while a score under 10 suggests illiteracy.

So which of this year’s NFL Draft prospects are illiterate?

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Reports of Brett Favre’s Demise Were Not Greatly Exaggerated


Jay Glazer reporting: has learned that legendary quarterback Brett Favre has decided to retire. In fact, it’s believed he informed the Packers of his decision within the last few days, although it’s unclear when Favre and the team will make his decision known.

I hope the folks at are prepared for this.

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Tuesday Roundup: Bastards, Boobies, Chris Simon and Weed

I’m taking another break from the tedious data entry that comes with trying one’s hand at bracketology, and figured I’d at least throw up another post in an effort to generate or maintain at least some traffic while I focus the majority of my efforts on trying to project the entire 65-team field before falling flat on my face when I attempt to project a winner of the entire thing when the bracket is released on Selection Sunday (I nail it every ten years, exactly — witness UCLA in ’95 and North Carolina in ’05. Why I’m admitting this, I don’t know. Please come back and visit before 2015).

Since I want to get back to crunching numbers (God, what a geek) quickly, brevity shall be the key. Here, then, is a list of links to some of the top stories in the day in sports:

  • Running back Kevin Faulk, of the 18-1 AFC Champion New England Patriots, was cited for misdemeanor marijuana possession on Friday night. (ProJo Pats Blog)
  • Run DMC has made a lot of babies. (Miami Herald)
  • “So you’ve got something to look at while you’re talking to them!” (New York Daily News)
  • Yao Ming is done for the year. (AP)
  • Chris Simon was traded on NHL Trade Deadline Day. (Newsday)
  • As were many others. (TSN)

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Six Word Memoirs: Athlete Edition

I’m sure someone’s done this shtick already, but what the hell? Inspired by the success of Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser’s Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure (available at! [thumbs up]), we’ll give an athlete’s edition a whirl, focusing on some of the more prominent happenings in the past week in sports. Read the rest of this entry »

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Hewlett-Packard, They Do Good Work


Thanks to the good people in charge of repairs at Hewlett-Packard, I have my laptop back way ahead of schedule. And, as such, I can get back to blogging after a lapse of roughly two weeks (maybe it was three).

It might seem fashionable to return with a bang, perhaps making a big deal over the fact that the New York Giants shocked the world (and crushed the arbitrary statistical amalgam’s credibility) by upsetting the then-undefeated New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLII. Since I’m a week late to this party (metaphorically, that is — I had officially hopped the bandwagon at about the moment Brandon Jacobs fired a fastball at the play clock in Dallas), I won’t go crazy about the Super Bowl. I will note, however, a trend that I had noted in the linked article that did, in fact, pan out:

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I’ll Never Doubt A Watch Commercial Again…

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AFC Championship Game: San Diego Chargers (13-5-0) vs. New England Patriots (17-0-0), 4th Quarter


5:31 ET: Tom Brady finishes this drive, finding a wide-open Wes Welker for a 6-yard touchdown. A Stephen Gostkowski extra point makes it 21-12 Patriots with just over 12 minutes left to play.

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AFC Championship Game: San Diego Chargers (13-5-0) vs. New England Patriots (17-0-0), 3rd Quarter


Steve Tasker reports coming out of the locker room that LaDainian Tomlinson is “very doubtful” to return. So, let’s look at San Diego’s fortunes for the second half: They’re without their all-world running back. Their quarterback is battling through what may or may not be a torn MCL. Their Pro Bowl tight end is in and out of the game fighting a big toe injury. Also, they’re up against the 17-0 New England Patriots, who hold a 14-9 lead over them.

Other than that, everything is great for the AFC West Champs.

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HALFTIME ENTERTAINMENT: LaDainian Tomlinson, Classy Guy

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