Six Word Memoirs: Athlete Edition

I’m sure someone’s done this shtick already, but what the hell? Inspired by the success of Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser’s Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure (available at Amazon.com! [thumbs up]), we’ll give an athlete’s edition a whirl, focusing on some of the more prominent happenings in the past week in sports.

Terrell Owens:
Best wide receiver. Can dunk too.

Dwight Howard:
Should just dunk my free throws.

Gerald Green:
Dude, I blew out a candle!

Jason Kidd:
Free at last! Free at last!

Peter Forsberg:
My health is cause for concern.

Andy Pettitte:
All y’all want to believe me.

Ben Wallace:
Stealing money from new team. Witness!

LeBron James:
Someone get me out of here.

Kelvin Sampson:
Please accept the charges, Eric Gordon.

Roger Clemens:
Misremembered attending party. Now I’m screwed.

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