Several weeks ago, I posted a link to a story about Pat Riley’s decision to flee the scene of the crime against basketball known as the 2007-08 Miami Heat to check out some enjoyable games, namely the ones in the NCAA Tournament that involved Michael Beasley (and O.J. Mayo!)

The money quote there, in my estimation, was this underrated gem:

“I happen to have two titles but it’s one job,” Riley said of holding the dual title of team president. “I have to balance both balls here.”

Well, I am sad to report that Riley has decided he is no longer capable of keeping both balls aloft.

The Sun-Sentinel has the scoop:

In a move that took days of deliberation but was hinted at months in advance, Riley announced today he is stepping down as coach of the Heat to concentrate fulltime on what had been his dual role as team president.

The announcement was made at an afternoon news conference at AmericanAirlines Arena.

Assistant coach Erik Spoelstra was named Riley’s replacement.

Regretfully, there were no “money quotes” — or any quotes at all — from Riley in the article. Still, it wasn’t a complete bust for childish individuals such as myself:

I voted for the hair one! LOL!

The new group might ask, “Hey, stupid, why don’t you try to create a formula to get a better grip on picking baseball winners. Or are you satisfied with that 192-190 record?” To which I respond, there are quite enough formulas out there that try their hand at predicting baseball. The world doesn’t need yet another one, and I wouldn’t even know where to begin since the game is far more complex, in my estimation, than football or hoops.

The old group, meanwhile, might derisively remark, “Too bad you made that bet and lost to a computer, huh, dipshit? That’s what you get for mouthing off to Arrow Smith! Now your precious little formula can only be applied to professional football!” And to that group I say, touche.

Of course, there’s the whole matter of whether this heavily statistically-reliant formula should, in fact, be considered “my” picks. Essentially, I’m letting the numbers do the talking. But that’s a debate to be contested on another day.

Once I figure out exactly what stats and what-have-you that I’m going to plug into the formula, I’ll get started. It’s obviously a work in progress, but then again, I should have plenty of time to tinker with it before the season starts in September. (One thing’s for sure: sacks will be looked at. [Wow, that came out wrong. {That may have, too.}])

I’ll keep you posted.

(Oh, by the way, that ground ball pitchers vs. speedy hitters study was a bust. I’ll post the Excel link at some point, but I can officially say that there is little if any correlation present besides an increased window of opportunity to steal bases.)

Oh my goodness. Goodness gracious.

Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready, a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two, several sources have told the Daily News.

The revelations could torpedo claims of an unsullied character that are central to the defamation suit Clemens filed Jan. 6 against his former personal trainer Brian McNamee.

I would imagine that banging a 15-year-old girl outside of wedlock would classify as a character-sullying moment. Damn this conservative society we live in.

Fun trivia note: I’m adopted, and my biological mother was 15 years old when she gave birth to me, then took one look at the ugly baby she had produced and…

OH MY GOD. MY FIRST NAME BEGINS WITH K.

This is not good.

I spent my LAST DAY OF FREEDOM sleeping, getting a haircut, watching the Papal mass at Yankee Stadium, and, yes, running some numbers for one of my ridiculous brainstorms in which I make an effort to figure shit out as it relates to sports.

This one was pretty easy to do, as I simply wanted to gauge the value added by high-level base stealers (for this “experiment” I defined such a player as anyone who had 20+ swipes for the 2007 season and anyone who had multiple thefts for the 2008 set) with successful steals relative to the value they may cost their team by getting caught stealing. To do this, I modified their batting averages, on-base percentages and, most importantly in terms of this experiment (just my opinion), their slugging percentages.

As the old saying goes, you can’t steal first base, so really, any adjustment to a player’s on-base percentage or batting average as a stand-alone statistic would be negative. “That’s the point!” you may say. And to some extent you’d be correct. Still, I don’t feel it would be worth it to focus on either of these statistics individually — particularly batting average, which I threw out altogether — when they’re modified by stolen base data.

To me, it makes a lot more sense to focus on modifying a player’s slugging percentage to reflect his swipes and/or caught stealings because the stolen base aims to accomplish what a double, triple or less frequently a home run would have otherwise accomplished.

With all of this in mind, I quickly plugged some statistics from the 2007 season into an Excel spreadsheet and modified the traditional measurements for on-base percentage and slugging percentage to try to figure out which Major Leaguers benefited the most (and least) from stealing a year ago.

To accomplish this, I used the following formulas:

Adjusted On-Base Percentage
([Hits - Caught Stealing] + Walks + Hit By Pitches)/(At-Bats + Walks + Hit By Pitches + Sacrifice Flies)

Adjusted Slugging Percentage
([Hits - Caught Stealing] + Total Bases + Stolen Bases) / At-Bats

Full results here.

UPDATE: The dude who we found to consistently get the most value out of his base-stealing was apparently designated for assignment while we were compiling the numbers. Awesome.

The most important tournament in professional basketball is often marred in its early rounds by four-game sweeps or similarly short series which lead to first- and second-round games being played during the same time period. We can probably expect this tradition to continue this year, assuming the NBA hasn’t wised up yet — and why would they? — and decided to have a more organized playoff schedule. The probability of multiple rounds being contested at once is particularly high with a stacked Western Conference producing several high-profile first round matchups while a top-heavy Eastern Conference continues to lag behind.

Anyway, it’s pretty late now and I actually have to be up somewhat early to run a couple of errands that I’ve repeatedly put off throughout the week. So I’ll cut to the chase. I’m letting the wacky formula that served me so well in March once again try to carry the day in for the NBA Playoffs. This is a concern for a couple of reasons. First, the college and NBA games are different in many ways. The pro game is longer, involves more shooting and is played at a faster pace than the college game. The games are more likely to turn into track meets in the pros than in the NCAA. Also, the college tournament is a series of “best of ones” played at neutral sites, so it’s easier to just pick a flat-out winner of each game using a formula that doesn’t contain anything involving home-court advantage.

While these items are of some concern, a.) there’s nothing I can really do about it and b.) the formula has effectively projected at least one of the two teams to appear in the NBA Finals in each of the last four years. So, it doesn’t appear to be a complete lost cause.

Anyway, here are the quick and dirty NBA picks, along with my even dirtier (I guess?) guesses of how long each series will take. I sort of have a system when I pick these numbers, but let’s just say it’s in an experimental stage right now.

NBA Playoffs:
Eastern Conference:
#1 Boston Celtics over #8 Atlanta Hawks in four games
#5 Washington Wizards over #4 Cleveland Cavaliers in seven games
#2 Detroit Pistons over #7 Philadelphia 76ers in six games
#3 Toronto Raptors over #6 Orlando Magic in seven games

#1 Boston Celtics over #5 Washington Wizards in five games
#2 Detroit Pistons over #3 Toronto Raptors in five games

#1 Boston Celtics over #2 Detroit Pistons in seven games

Western Conference:
#1 Los Angeles Lakers over #8 Denver Nuggets in six games
#4 Utah Jazz over #5 Houston Rockets in six games
#2 New Orleans Hornets over #7 Dallas Mavericks in six games
#3 Phoenix Suns over #6 San Antonio Spurs in seven games

#4 Utah Jazz over #1 Los Angeles Lakers in six games
#2 New Orleans Hornets over #3 Phoenix Suns in six games

#4 Utah Jazz over #2 New Orleans Hornets in five games

NBA Finals: #1 Boston Celtics over #4 Utah Jazz in seven games

On a personal note, I truly believe that the Celtics are going to collapse in the playoffs. I’ve been doubting them all year and for much of the year they’ve made me look like a fool. But I think the Wizards could give them a run that the wacky formula doesn’t see coming provided Washington gets past Cleveland. Of course, it’ll be to Boston’s advantage that they’ll likely have some time to rest up while the Wizards and Cavs are likely to go at it tooth and nail for the entire series.

The outcomes in the West look about right to me. My only real objection is that I think the Suns will get to the conference finals before bowing out. It’s also pretty obvious that this formula doesn’t take into account home and road splits given the projected Western Conference champion. Still, they’re absolute killers at home, and they’re likely to get at least three games in Salt Lake City during each series. Even with a 17-24 road record — that’s still about 40 percent, or two wins in every five games — the Jazz look to be a tough out.

This probably isn’t the last you’ll hear about the NBA Playoffs on the blog. Even with my documented distaste for the Association, I can’t deny that there are several interesting pairings in this year’s first round.

Now we’ll quickly jump to the National Pastime. And I mean very quickly — we’ll touch on my picks for Saturday’s game, I’ll throw out my Friday record (spoiler alert: I went 7-8 ) and then I’ll update the “standings” and bounce.

SATURDAY PICKS:
Pittsburgh Pirates over Chicago Cubs
Detroit Tigers over Toronto Blue Jays
San Francisco Giants over St. Louis Cardinals
Cincinnati Reds over Milwaukee Brewers
Cleveland Indians over Minnesota Twins
Philadelphia Phillies over New York Mets
Los Angeles Dodgers over Atlanta Braves
Kansas City Royals over Oakland Athletics
New York Yankees over Baltimore Orioles
Boston Red Sox over Texas Rangers
Colorado Rockies over Houston Astros
Chicago White Sox over Tampa Bay Rays
Washington Nationals over Florida Marlins
Seattle Mariners over Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
San Diego Padres over Arizona Diamondbacks

Merrill Park Superstar vs. the NL Central Standings:
St. Louis Cardinals (12-5) .706
Milwaukee Brewers (10-6) .625
Chicago Cubs (10-6) .625
Merrill Park Superstar (132-120, 7-8 Friday) .524
Pittsburgh Pirates (7-9) .438
Cincinnati Reds (7-10) .412
Houston Astros (6-11) .353

2:57 AM ET: End 17: Colorado Rockies 1, San Diego Padres 1

Let’s go!

2:58 ET: Wilfredo Ledezma will begin his fourth inning of work against Troy Tulowitzki, who is 0-for-6 tonight.

3:00 AM ET: And Tulowitzki draws a leadoff walk on a questionable ball four. Because it just wouldn’t be an 18-inning game without some controversy.

Jake Peavy and Jeff Francis started this game for their respective teams some five hours ago. Peavy pitched eight innings of shutout ball and struck out 11. Francis went seven scoreless and K’d seven.

Hang on, there’s more of the game story.

3:02 AM ET: Todd Helton just singled, and there are runners at first and second with nobody out.

The game remained scoreless until the 14th…

3:04 AM ET: Matt Holliday grounds into a double play, and the Rockies will have two outs and a runner at third with pitcher Ryan Speier due up.

…when a wild Kevin Cameron walked Brad Hawpe to force in the first run of the game. But the Padres rebounded in the bottom half of the inning when catcher Josh Bard, who has caught all 18 innings thus far, drove in Kevin Kouzmanoff on an RBI single.

And that’s all the scoring there’s been in the entire game.

3:06 AM ET: Which is about to go to the bottom of the 18th inning, still tied at 1 after Ledezma struck out Speier.

The Padres announcers, who have essentially run out of things to say — witness their discussions of which satellite radio provider they prefer and how many people have texted them during the game — are now openly rooting for runs to be scored.

3:08 AM ET: The Padres are inexplicably abusing what appears to be some sort of stuffed goat in their dugout. Hey, whatever.

3:11 AM ET: Tony Clark, another 0-for-6 guy, is up with one out. Maybe he’s due.

3:12 AM ET: Nah. He struck out.

Apparently Matt Vasgersian vowed to eat a hat if this game went past 18 innings. His midnight snack is being prepared as I type this.

And now they’re just reading their text messages on the air.

Nothing doing for the Padres in the bottom of the 18th. Let’s play 19!

3:16 AM ET: Tony Clark is now 0-for-7. He, Tulowitzki, Hawpe, Tadahito Iguchi and Jim Edmonds are all sporting 0fers.

3:17 AM ET: Hawpe just dropped to 0-for-6. “This game has set us back a hundred years to the dead ball era, for pete’s sake,” Vasgersian remarks.

I’m liveblogging HISTORY! This is the longest game in Colorado Rockies franchise history! I’ll forever know where I was when it happened.

3:19 AM ET: “You know who’s still here behind the plate?” “No.” “The dude who looks like Pete Carroll.”

They just showed the “fake Pete Carroll.” I don’t see the resemblance.

3:21 AM ET: Mudcat Grant wants to know if there’s a curfew or something. I don’t believe there is, personally. “We’re waiting for confirmation on that,” Vasgersian adds. I hope my suspicion is correct, if only for the possible meltdown that will result.

3:24 AM ET: Kip Wells has entered the game for the Rockies. He is Colorado’s eighth pitcher.

3:25 AM ET: Khalil Greene gets into one, but they’re in Petco Park, so it’s just a long flyout. Gotta love that pitcher’s park.

Meanwhile, what I guess are the post-game studio guys were shown on camera. One of them mimicked sticking a gun in his mouth and blowing his brains out, complete with pantomimed brain splattering. That’s commitment to your craft.

You’re watching San Diego Padres baseball!

3:26 AM ET: They just learned that there is, in fact, no curfew in the National League. Vasgersian noted that the American League has one, and that no inning can begin after 1 a.m., but “we aren’t so fortunate.”

Mudcat’s response to the news was rather underwhelming.

3:29 AM ET: They’re getting more and more bitter with each passing inning, at least.

“We’re going to the 20th tonight!” ‘Sweet.’

3:32 AM ET: Glendon Rusch takes over the pitching duties for the Padres. He’s the seventh pitcher for the Padres, and, as I recall, he’s not all that bad of a hitter. Perhaps his bat could come into play later on, assuming he’s not shelled into oblivion before the Pads get a chance to do any damage.

3:34 AM ET: Kevin Kouzmanoff opens the 20th inning with a diving stop and guns out Jayson Nix.

Rusch, incidentally, will lead off in the bottom half.

3:36 AM ET: With a hint of resignation on each of their voices, Vasgersian and Grant admit that this is the perfect opportunity for Rusch to rebound from some early troubles by “getting a couple good innings under his belt.” Yes, a couple. Their spirits have been crushed.

Tulowitzki finally picks up his first hit of the game to improve to 1-for-7 on the night. Helton fails to knock him in.

Rusch, Giles, Iguchi in the bottom half. Padres tryin’ to win it!

3:39 AM ET: Rusch is a career .154 hitter in 305 at-bats. He has three home runs. Just for the record.

3:41 AM ET: That career average just went down.

3:42 AM ET: They just showed a girl in the stands who’s keeping score after 20 innings. This is a fine woman. “I thought she was doodling!”

3:44 AM ET: Mudcat just became possessed by some wacky voice while calling a Brian Giles groundout. Giles is 1-for-9. I was hearing the voice of “Bud Schlitz,” apparently.

3:46 AM ET: Iguchi whiffs to end the 20th inning.

How long could this game possibly go? I’m beginning to empathize with their irritation now.

The line score for innings 21-30 was just posted on the scoreboard.

3:48 AM ET: “Oh my God, I hadn’t even thought about this. A third seventh inning stretch!” This man is in hell.

And now Mudcat Grant is speculating on the bladder capacity of the umpiring crew, who he hasn’t seen leave the field for all 21 innings. SOMEBODY PLEASE RESUME TEXTING THESE MEN.

3:50 AM ET: Vasgersian is now calling for the addition of the designated hitter in the National League. “And lowering the pitcher’s mound.” This is awesome.

Kip Wells tries to bunt Matt Holliday over to second base, but Josh Bard makes a good throw to second to force the lead runner. Seriously.

3:52 AM ET: Brad Hawpe down on strikes. 0-for-7! Golden sombrero! Sucks to be him.

3:53 AM ET: It’s time for another seventh inning stretch! They’re really putting that “I don’t care if I never get back” line to the test.

3:56 AM ET: Apparently the center field cameraman has bounced.

3:57 AM ET: With one out in the bottom of the 21st, Tony Clark will try to avoid picking up the rare platinum sombrero.

4:00 AM ET: He singles, and will have to share the golden sombrero with Hawpe for now.

Jim Edmonds immediately neutralizes Clark’s damage by grounding into a double play. TO THE 22ND!

4:04 AM ET: This is now the longest game in San Diego Padres history.

4:05 AM ET: So far, the post-game studio guys have been shown pantomiming their suicide, acting like they were either asleep or dead (if they were truly committed to their craft) and they were just now shown bouncing bottle caps into a paper cup. Those guys rule.

Vasgersian wants to know if there’s a situation where they can just leave while the game’s still going.

4:07 AM ET: With two outs in the 22nd inning, Khalil Greene is charged with a throwing error. Willy Taveras is aboard. That’s a bad guy to give the base to.

Imagine if this game is decided on an unearned run…

4:08 AM ET: Taveras swipes second, and Bard’s throw trickles into center field. Taveras advances to third thanks heavily to a pair of errors.

Big spot here for Rusch against the 1-for-7 Tulowitzki.

4:10 AM ET: And Tulo knocks him in on a double. 2-1 Rockies.

4:11 AM ET: Helton grounds out. Greene, Bard and Paul McAnulty due up. If anyone reaches base, Rusch will bat. Let’s git some runs, boys!

4:14 AM ET: Taveras, who is 3-for-10 tonight, has scored both of Colorado’s runs. He looks to be the favorite for the player of the game award.

4:15 AM ET: Khalil Greene gets plunked to lead off the bottom of the 22nd as Vasgersian wonders why the hell they got rid of the curfew in the NL in the first place.

Bard up next. I hate bunting in just about every situation, but dammit, I want to see a bunt here.

4:16 AM ET: No such luck, and Bard grounds into a double play. It’s all up to McAnulty.

4:19 AM ET: McAnulty draws a walk. So now it’s up to Rusch.

4:21 AM ET: Rusch goes down looking, and the ballgame is over.

Time for a nap.

Box Score: Colorado Rockies 2, San Diego Padres 1 (22 innings)

FRIDAY PICKS:
Chicago Cubs over Pittsburgh Pirates
Philadelphia Phillies over New York Mets
New York Yankees over Baltimore Orioles
Boston Red Sox over Texas Rangers
Detroit Tigers over Toronto Blue Jays
Florida Marlins over Washington Nationals
Tampa Bay Rays over Chicago White Sox
Milwaukee Brewers over Cincinnati Reds
Los Angeles Dodgers over Atlanta Braves
Houston Astros over Colorado Rockies
Cleveland Indians over Minnesota Twins
San Francisco Giants over St. Louis Cardinals
Arizona Diamondbacks over San Diego Padres
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim over Seattle Mariners
Kansas City Royals over Oakland Athletics

Merrill Park Superstar vs. the NL Central “Standings”:
St. Louis Cardinals (11-5) .688
Milwaukee Brewers (9-6) .600
Chicago Cubs (9-6) .600
Merrill Park Superstar (125-112, 10-3 Thursday) .527
Pittsburgh Pirates (7-8 ) .467
Cincinnati Reds (7-9) .438
Houston Astros (6-10) .375

As promised, I’m back to quickly give my thoughts on Johnny Cueto and Francisco Liriano’s starts from Sunday, or at least what I saw of them. In my previous post, I mentioned that I “didn’t come away impressed” with either pitcher’s performance on Sunday. That statement might be a little deceptive, in retrospect.

In Liriano’s case, I wasn’t all that impressed. He didn’t have great command, his velocity was down and he looked pretty darn hittable. He did manage to strike four Royals out, but he also walked five of them, so that’s more suggestive of command issues than the kind of stuff he had.

It’s pretty simple with Liriano. If he gets his velocity back — his heater reportedly floated around 90 for much of the day, down about five miles per hour from his 2006 season — he should also regain his effectiveness. Even with the drop in velocity, the lefty’s changeup kept the Royals off balance.

If Liriano’s heater lags in the low-90s for much of the year, his stuff remains good enough that he’ll be able to get by and be a fairly productive starter. Though for that to happen, he’ll need to have better command than he did on Sunday — his five walks set a new career-high.

I didn’t pay quite as much attention to Johnny Cueto’s third start of the season. From what I saw early on in the start, it appeared he didn’t have it. Looking at the box score, it appears that he corrected some of the issues he had early in the game regarding his command — he only walked one batter — but it was still his worst outing of the year.

Now, let me clarify what I meant when I noted that I wasn’t all that impressed with Cueto. It was pretty clear from the onset that this was a bad day for him. Every pitcher has rough outings, this wasn’t a big concern to me. The thing that bothered me from the perspective of Cueto’s future is how violent his mechanics are. Obviously, because he’s so small he has to make up for his stature by putting an incredible amount of torque behind his pitches. Well, watching him repeat this motion over and over again worried me. It seems that he not only opens himself up to arm trouble (which seems almost inevitable given the combination of his mechanics, stature and manager) down the road, but perhaps some significant leg injuries as well. He looks to be literally trying to give it his all on every single pitch, and while it’s pretty amazing to watch right now, I’m more than a little concerned about his shelf life.

And speaking of lengthy shelf lives, Randy Johnson made his return on Monday night and with the exception of a rough second inning, looked pretty sharp. Of course, he did it against the pitiful San Francisco Giants lineup, but the Big Unit was still pretty impressive. If you take out the second inning, in which Johnson was charged with three unearned runs thanks heavily to a Mark Reynolds fielding error and a two-out bloop single that knocked in two runs, Johnson allowed just one hit while striking out five and walking three. He wasn’t throwing particularly hard tonight, but was able to reach back for something extra a few times and get his fastball up around the 93 MPH mark with fair command when he needed it. He also mixed in a changeup at times to complement his trademark fastball-slider combination. Of the three pitchers I’ve mentioned, it was Johnson’s outing that I was most impressed by.

Monday’s Box Scores:
Detroit Tigers 11, Minnesota Twins 9

• Detroit’s offense finally came alive, feasting on Minnesota’s bullpen for seven runs, six in the eighth inning, to rally to steal its third win of the season.

Boston Red Sox 6, Cleveland Indians 4

• Not to be outdone, the Red Sox scored five runs in the final three innings, including three runs in the ninth against closer Joe Borowski (who, you may have heard, led the league in saves last year despite being a really bad pitcher) to snatch a victory from the Tribe. A two-run Manny Ramirez bomb was the difference.
• David Ortiz singled twice in his return to the Boston lineup.

Baltimore Orioles 4, Toronto Blue Jays 3

• The Blue Jays couldn’t quite muster the late-inning heroics of Detroit and Boston. An Alex Rios two-run homer cut Baltimore’s lead to one run, but Orioles closer George Sherrill hung on to strike out Shannon Stewart and get Gregg Zaun to line out to end it.

New York Yankees 8, Tampa Bay Rays 7

• Robinson Cano’s pinch-hit home run in the eighth inning broke a 7-7 tie and would prove to be the game-winner for the Bronx Bombers.
• The Yankees, who once led by a 7-1 score, saw their lead evaporate after Ian Kennedy departed after being struck in the hip with a line drive. Billy Traber and Brian Bruney threw batting practice for 1 2/3 innings before being replaced by Mariano Rivera, who picked up the save. Bruney was credited with the win thanks to Cano’s longball.
• The Yankees were without relief ace Joba Chamberlain, who left the team to be with his father, who collapsed at his home Sunday night.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 7, Texas Rangers 4

• Ervin Santana picked up his second road win of the season, which is already one more than his 2007 total (he went 1-10 a year ago) in the 7-4 win over Texas.

Oakland Athletics 2, Chicago White Sox 1

• Greg Smith picked up his first Major League win by outdueling fellow lefty Mark Buerhle at U.S. Cellular Field.
• If the season ended today (God forbid), these two teams would square off in the American League Division Series. (And would meet the winners of the Baltimore-Kansas City series in the ALCS.)
• A.J. Pierzynski collected two more hits and is now batting .421.

Pittsburgh Pirates 6, Los Angeles Dodgers 4

• Yes, even more late heroics: Nate McLouth delivered a three-run homer with two outs in the top of the ninth inning against Dodgers closer Takashi Saito to wrest the game away from Joe Torre’s club.

Kansas City Royals 5, Seattle Mariners 1

• Zack Greinke improved to 3-0 and pitched his first career nine-inning complete game to lead the Royals to victory.
• Leadoff hitter David DeJesus returned to Kansas City’s lineup after missing the team’s previous 11 games with an ankle injury.

San Francisco Giants 5, Arizona Diamondbacks 4

• The Giants ran wild on catcher Robby Hammock and exploited Arizona’s shaky infield defense to deal the first-place Diamondbacks their second loss in a row.

Merrill Park Superstar vs. the NL Central Standings:
St. Louis Cardinals (9-4) .692
Milwaukee Brewers (8-4) .667
Chicago Cubs (7-5) .583
Merrill Park Superstar (99-95, 3-6 Monday) .510
Pittsburgh Pirates (6-6) .500
Cincinnati Reds (6-7) .462
Houston Astros ( 5-8 ) .385

TUESDAY PICKS:
Oakland Athletics over Chicago White Sox
Texas Rangers over Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Arizona Diamondbacks over San Francisco Giants
Seattle Mariners over Kansas City Royals
Philadelphia Phillies over Houston Astros
Toronto Blue Jays over Baltimore Orioles
Boston Red Sox over Cleveland Indians
Minnesota Twins over Detroit Tigers
Atlanta Braves over Florida Marlins
New York Mets over Washington Nationals
New York Yankees over Tampa Bay Rays
Cincinnati Reds over Chicago Cubs
St. Louis Cardinals over Milwaukee Brewers
Colorado Rockies over San Diego Padres
Pittsburgh Pirates over Los Angeles Dodgers

I mentioned in yesterday’s roundup that last night’s Yankees-Red Sox game was one of the weaker recent offerings involving the two teams. The game was close, but there wasn’t a lot of drama, and the atmosphere was surprisingly dull given the blood feud between the clubs.

Saturday’s game was more along the lines of what to expect when the Sox and Yanks square off. Like Friday’s game, both starting pitchers put forth pretty solid efforts to keep their respective teams in the game. Unlike Friday’s game, this game was actually enjoyable to watch.

I’ve already made most of my comments on Chien-Ming Wang, but I’ll throw out one more. He’s just not very interesting to watch as a pitcher. He goes in there, gets a ton of ground balls, eats innings, and that’s about it. He’s not very flashy, though he’s sure as hell effective. On the other side, you had Clay Buchholz, who has electric stuff but can’t always control it. The result was Buchholz throwing 99 pitches in six innings before giving way to the bullpen. It’s widely accepted that a pitcher’s pace has one of the biggest effects on a game, and when the home crowd sees its stud rookie pitcher laboring through six innings while the opposing team’s bland starter is mowing the home team down, it’s understandable that they’re not going to demonstrate a lot of enthusiasm, even with the game as close as it was yesterday.

This afternoon was a different story. Boston had its ace on the mound in Josh Beckett, and he was going up against the corpse of Mike Mussina. Beckett was arguably the best pitcher in the American League last season, whereas Mussina has been steadily declining for years and is often forced to rely more upon guile than skill at this stage of his career. Still, the Stanford graduate is far from an idiot when it comes to the art of pitching, and has been able to get by for the most part with his diminished stuff. Of course, he’ll take his lumps from time to time.

The Fenway faithful seemed to expect this to be one of those times, and was pumped up every time the Sox threatened to score. To Mussina’s credit, he held the Red Sox in check every time, but this crowd wasn’t as easily demoralized as Friday night’s. Even when Beckett coughed up the lead in top of the sixth inning, it wasn’t like dread set like it had on Friday. Sure enough, the Sox rallied back and the crowd went nuts.

(Say what you will about my placing this much emphasis on the crowd, but really, it’s Red Sox Nation and the Yankee fanbase that drive the rivalry. Everyone’s heard it already, but it’s not like the players on these teams legitimately hate each other (for the most part, anyway). Seeing a crowd that is actually into the game adds to the atmosphere, if nothing else.)

So we’ve established that the game was at least as dramatic as your typical close ballgame. Still, it wouldn’t be a Yankees-Red Sox game without at least some strange managerial decisions and a general sense of controversy.

The bad calls were primarily generated by Joe Girardi today. He allowed Mussina to pitch to Manny Ramirez with runners at second and third with two outs in the bottom of the sixth inning. At the time, the Yankees were clinging to a 2-1 lead. After Manny’s at-bat, the Yankees trailed 3-2. The second-guessing began almost immediately, as Ramirez could have been walked to load the bases for Kevin Youkilis.

Later, Girardi used LaTroy Hawkins in a one-run game in the 8th inning. The move worked out, but seriously, LaTroy Hawkins?

But the big controversy of the day saw Jonathan Papelbon have to warm up a total of three times due to a series of rain delays. Papelbon was to relieve Hideki Okajima with two runners on and two outs in the bottom of the eighth inning. With Alex Rodriguez coming up for the Yankees, Terry Francona made the pitching change. Papelbon got ready to enter the game, and then the rains came. The umpiring crew decided at that point to cover up the field and call a rain delay. The delay was originally supposed to last about a half an hour.

It actually took about two hours, and during that time, the game nearly resumed again. This prompted Papelbon to warm up again and get ready to pitch. But the rains intensified again, and the umpires chose not to resume the game at that time.

The speculation began that Papelbon would be unavailable to pitch when the game did resume because of all the up-and-down stuff in the bullpen. Ultimately, the Red Sox closer told Francona he was good to go, and Francona allowed him to face A-Rod when the game resumed.

And, after a two hour delay, that happened.

Papelbon finished out the game by striking out Jason Giambi and Jorge Posada in the ninth, then getting to a 3-2 count on Robinson Cano. At that point, FOX cut to cars driving in circles.

Seriously.

Savvy viewers were able to flip over to FX in time to see Cano ground out to cap yet another bizarre encounter between the hated rivals.

Long rain delay excluded, I can only hope Sunday’s game more closely resembles the Saturday afternoon one.

SATURDAY BOX SCORES:

Atlanta Braves 10, Washington Nationals 2

• Jeff Francoeur homered twice and knocked in seven runs as the Braves trounced the Nationals. Still, I’ll bet he wishes he could get this one back:

Chicago White Sox 7, Detroit Tigers 0

• Gavin Floyd carried a no-hitter into the eighth inning before an Edgar Renteria single ended his bid.
• Dontrelle Willis officially went on the disabled list with a hyperextended right knee.

Milwaukee Brewers 5, New York Mets 3

• Johan Santana allowed three home runs to the visiting Brewers — none hit by veggie-hugger Prince Fielder — and now sports a losing record as a Met.
• Ben Sheets saw his earned-run average skyrocket from 0.00 to 1.17 in the win.
• Eric Gagne pitched a perfect ninth inning for the save, which may be more surprising than yesterday’s Gregg Zaun steal of home.

Arizona Diamondbacks 10, Colorado Rockies 3

• Justin Upton tied teammate Mark Reynolds and Florida’s Mike Jacobs for the National League lead in home runs (5) as the Diamondbacks won their eighth game in a row.
• Eleven games into the year, Arizona has a 3.5 game lead over the next best team in the NL West.

Boston Red Sox 4, New York Yankees 3

• Hughes. Matsuzaka. Only one can push his team to the promised land known as “above .500.”

St. Louis Cardinals 8, San Francisco Giants 7 (10 innings)

• Matt Cain took a no-hitter into the seventh inning and attempted to provide his own run support by connecting for a solo homer in the bottom of the sixth, but his teammates would have none of that.
• Cain’s homer gives him more home runs this season (1) than reigning National League home run champion Prince Fielder (0). He also tied Ray Durham and John Bowker for second place among San Francisco’s 2008 home run leaders.

Oakland Athletics 7, Cleveland Indians 3

• Fausto Carmona did his best Paul Byrd impression, walking eight batters and striking out just one in 3 1/3 innings in a losing effort. Then he went to get his teeth cleaned.

Philadelphia Phillies 7, Chicago Cubs 1

• Cole Hamels allowed one hit in seven scoreless innings. He also doubled.

Houston Astros 5, Florida Marlins 0

• Florida’s magic number: 151

Pittsburgh Pirates 4, Cincinnati Reds 3

• You know, there weren’t a lot of very interesting games tonight.

Minnesota Twins 2, Kansas City Royals 0

• It’s like the afternoon hogged all of them.

Baltimore Orioles 3, Tampa Bay Rays 2

• Daniel Cabrera remains undefeated in 13 career appearances against the Rays following tonight’s no-decision. He’s 6-0 overall.
• Evan Longoria went 1-for-3 with an RBI and a walk in his Major League debut.

Toronto Blue Jays 4, Texas Rangers 1

• Roy Halladay scattered six hits in a complete game win. Aaron Hill knocked in three of Toronto’s four runs.

Seattle Mariners 8, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 3

• Jon Garland distributed 12 hits with little regard for his team’s wellbeing (this would be the opposite of scattering, no?) over five innings as the Angels got beaten down by the Mariners. Garland also walked a batter while failing to record a strikeout.
• Seattle starting pitcher Carlos Silva also failed to record a strikeout and walked one batter while allowing 11 hits. He did it over eight innings. What a game this must’ve been.

Los Angeles Dodgers 11, San Diego Padres 1

• Andruw Jones went 0/3 with two walks and three runs scored, reportedly drawing the ire of the home crowd that likely had collective flashbacks to the days when that nerd Paul DePodesta was running things.

SUNDAY PICKS:
Cleveland Indians over Oakland Athletics
New York Mets over Milwaukee Brewers
Cincinnati Reds over Pittsburgh Pirates
Philadelphia Phillies over Chicago Cubs
Atlanta Braves over Washington Nationals
Baltimore Orioles over Tampa Bay Rays
Florida Marlins over Houston Astros
Chicago White Sox over Detroit Tigers
Kansas City Royals over Minnesota Twins
Toronto Blue Jays over Texas Rangers
San Francisco Giants over St. Louis Cardinals
Arizona Diamondbacks over Colorado Rockies
San Diego Padres over Los Angeles Dodgers
Seattle Mariners over Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Boston Red Sox over New York Yankees

Merrill Park Superstar vs. the NL Central:
St. Louis Cardinals (9-3) .750
Milwaukee Brewers (7-4) .636
Chicago Cubs (6-5) .545
Merrill Park Superstar (89-81, 10-5 Saturday) .524
Cincinnati Reds (6-6) .500
Pittsburgh Pirates (5-6) .455
Houston Astros (4-8 ) .333

I only caught one game in full on Friday night, and it was the first meeting of the season between the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox. For lack of anything better to write about, I’ll just throw out my thoughts on the Bronx Bombers’ 4-1 win.

First of all, as far as Yankees-Red Sox games go, this one was pretty much a stinker. I’m not looking to take anything away from Chien-Ming Wang’s performance tonight, because the dude was dealing for most of the game (namely every inning besides the fifth). But Boston helped him out too by going after him early in the count. I have to imagine that it was in the scouting report to jump on Wang early (yikes), but one would think that the team would try to make some adjustments to that strategy after failing to put anything resembling a strong offensive effort together at any point in the early innings.

It’s ridiculous that Wang only had to throw 93 pitches to record 27 outs against the Red Sox. I’m not the biggest fan of (…wow, almost walked right into that one. How shall I put this?…) the Korean right-hander. I tend to think he’s a little overrated by the Yankee fanbase and upper management (Brian Cashman is fond of comparing him to Brandon Webb), and that much of his game relies on luck. Still, a sinkerballer who eats as many innings as Wang does is a huge asset to have over the course of the season. There isn’t a team in the Major Leagues that wouldn’t happily take 200 innings of an ERA under 4, even if much of that success is reliant upon infield defense. (That reminds me, I loved Joe Girardi’s decision to plug defensive specialist Alberto Gonzalez in at shortstop behind Wang in place of the injured Jeter.)

Interestingly, of the 24 outs Wang recorded by getting Red Sox hitters to put the ball in play, 14 came on fly balls. I’m not entirely sure what to make of this. Wang consistently finds himself near the top of the league in ground ball percentage thanks to his turbo sinker. It’s possible that this, too, may have been in the scouting report for Boston. Of course, I may also just be overthinking this. It’s entirely possible the Sox were just overmatched. That certainly looked to be the case with Big Papi, who was downright painful to watch.

(For the record, and I’m going to keep myself from going off on a tangent here, it’s my belief that the best way to beat pitchers like Wang, Webb or Carmona is to stack a lineup with as many speed guys as possible, even if it’s at the expense of guys with better on-base percentages. Within reason, of course. [I remember being frustrated that the Mets, who were well equipped to execute this strategy last year with Reyes, Wright, Beltran, Carlos Gomez and Luis Castillo all on the roster, went with their standard lineup and lost to Wang on a Sunday night game last season.] Maybe I’ll try doing a study on this scenario the road and see if I’m wrong. If nothing else, it piques my interest.)

Getting back to my original point, the game was close early on, but for me, it never really seemed all that exciting. The Fenway crowd was pretty dead, almost from the first pitch, and there just wasn’t a lot of energy displayed by anyone throughout the game. It was very weird for the first game of the year between “the greatest rivals in sports.”

One other thing I’ll throw out there is how great Coco Crisp’s defense in center field is. He was putting on a clinic tonight. Unfortunately, that was one of the only bright spots for the Sox.

Friday Night Box Scores:
Oakland Athletics 9, Cleveland Indians 7

• Oakland has C.C. Sabathia’s number. The 2007 AL Cy Young Award winner was shelled, allowing nine runs in 3 1/3 innings as he lost his second straight game to the A’s. He fell to 2-7 lifetime against Oakland, and saw his earned-run average against the team skyrocket to 6.84.

Philadelphia Phillies 5, Chicago Cubs 3

• Chicago’s onslaught of solo homers was no match for the one-man wrecking crew that was Pat Burrell.

New York Yankees 4, Boston Red Sox 1

• Derek Jeter is now expected to miss the entire series.

Pittsburgh Pirates 1, Cincinnati Reds 0

• A one-act play entitled “The Jason Bay Show.” Also featured: Paul Maholm, Matt Capps

Tampa Bay Rays 10, Baltimore Orioles 5

• Super-prospect Evan Longoria is expected to make his Major League debut on Saturday.
• Al Reyes kept on persevering, retiring both Orioles batters he faced in the eighth inning. Sadly, neither one was Melvin Mora.
• Oh, also, Carlos Pena homered twice and knocked in six runs.

New York Mets 4, Milwaukee Brewers 2

• The battery of Nelson Figueroa and Raul Casanova was too much for the Milwaukee Brewers to handle. Welcome to the NL Central.
• Jose Reyes is expected to miss Saturday’s game after leaving with hamstring tightness.
• With all the attention paid to Prince Fielder’s new no steak policy, it appears we all missed his decision to refrain from taters as well. (Hey, it’s late. Shut up.)

Atlanta Braves 3, Washington Nationals 0

• The Sidewinding Aussie — a Merrill Park Superstar favorite — picked up his first save of the season in Atlanta’s shutout win.

Florida Marlins 10, Houston Astros 6

• Florida’s magic number is down to 152 after the Marlins pounded the bejesus out of Roy Oswalt.

Toronto Blue Jays 8, Texas Rangers 5

• Top 6th: Toronto – G. Zaun stole home, B. Coats stole second
• Top 6th: Toronto – G. Zaun stole home, B. Coats stole second

Minnesota Twins 5, Kansas City Royals 0

• Livan Hernandez is 3-0. In the American League. In 2008.
• No, I don’t think you understand. Gregg Zaun stole home!
• The 5-5 Twins should get a lift on Sunday when Francisco Liriano rejoins the rotation.

Detroit Tigers 5, Chicago White Sox 2

• Dontrelle Willis built upon his abysmal Tigers debut by walking two guys, throwing a wild pitch and departing with a leg injury. Welcome to motherfuckin’ Detroit, god damn it.
• Aquilino Lopez, Jason Grilli, Denny Bautista and Todd Jones combined on a four-hitter after D-Train exited to help the Tigers steal the win.

Arizona Diamondbacks 8, Colorado Rockies 2

• Alls I’m saying is that my Diamondbacks-to-the-World Series pick is looking pretty good right about now.
• Randy Johnson is scheduled to rejoin the Diamondbacks on Monday.

Seattle Mariners 8, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 5

• Raul Ibanez’s career numbers against Jered Weaver coming into Friday night’s game: 10/19, 2 2B, 2 HR, 5 RBI, 2 BB, 5 K
• Raul Ibanez’s career numbers against Jered Weaver after Friday night’s game: 12/21, 2 2B, 4 HR, 7 RBI, 3 BB, 5 K

St. Louis Cardinals 8, San Francisco Giants 2

• The St. Louis Cardinals have the second-best record in the Big Leagues.

San Diego Padres 7, Los Angeles Dodgers 5

• Trevor Hoffman’s evolution into Joe Borowski is not yet complete, as he was only able to surrender one run in the ninth inning.
• San Diego’s domination over Brad Penny continued. The Dodgers ace hasn’t picked up a win over the Padres since he beat current Dodger Chan Ho Park (who pitched the ninth inning for L.A.) on September 11, 2005.

SATURDAY PICKS:
Atlanta Braves over Washington Nationals
Detroit Tigers over Chicago White Sox
Milwaukee Brewers over New York Mets
Boston Red Sox over New York Yankees
Arizona Diamondbacks over Colorado Rockies
St. Louis Cardinals over San Francisco Giants
Houston Astros over Florida Marlins
Chicago Cubs over Philadelphia Phillies
Cincinnati Reds over Pittsburgh Pirates
Cleveland Indians over Oakland Athletics
Baltimore Orioles over Tampa Bay Rays
Kansas City Royals over Minnesota Twins
Toronto Blue Jays over Texas Rangers
Seattle Mariners over Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Los Angeles Dodgers over San Diego Padres

Merrill Park Superstar vs. the NL Central:
St. Louis Cardinals (8-3) .727
Milwaukee Brewers (6-4) .600
Chicago Cubs (6-4) .600
Cincinnati Reds (6-5) .545
Merrill Park Superstar (79-76, 7-8 Friday) .510
Pittsburgh Pirates (4-6) .400
Houston Astros (3-8) .273

Tampa Bay Rays setup man Al Reyes celebrated his 38th birthday in style Thursday night, getting wasted and causing several disturbances at Tampa’s Hyde Park Cafe.

According to a St. Petersburg Times report, Reyes became angry with another bar patron when the pitcher staggered into a ceramic pot inside the bar. Reyes contended that the other patron, identified as Eduardo Mora, had shoved him into the pot, and called him out on his chicanery.

Mora, surely unaware that it was Reyes’ birthday, responded by punching the burly right-hander in his 38-year-old face. And that’s where the real fun began.

Mora then punched Reyes in the face, getting the attention of the Hyde Park Cafe’s bouncers. Meanwhile, police said in a news release, Reyes “began to spit blood on the people in the area and began to swing his arms about.”

The bouncers tried to control Reyes, but the 6 foot 1, 230-pound right-hander kept pushing them away. A Tampa Police officer working extra duty at the bar tried to calm the fracas, but Reyes “continued spitting blood and thrashing about,” Tampa Police Lt. William Ferguson wrote in the release.

I think Tampa Police Lieutenant William Ferguson missed his calling as a creative writer. (Ironically, some might argue that I missed my calling as a police officer by trying to make a career of writing.) “Spitting blood and thrashing about,” to me, is the best description of anything to ever happen, ever.

Lt. Ferguson apparently disagreed.

Moments later, the officer Tased Reyes, knocking him to the bar floor.

“Sometimes I wish I’d never been born, 38 years ago today!” Reyes noted while writhing in pain, claim some onlookers.

Still, perseverance has always been a trait associated with the Tommy John Surgery survivor, and he eventually regained his bearings, pulled himself off the ground and began to approach the police, presumably to apologize for conduct unbecoming of a 38-year-old.

Ignoring police commands to stay down, authorities said Reyes got up and was Tased a second time.

Apparently Reyes wasn’t the only perseverant one.

Reyes eventually calmed down and was treated for a cut to his nose, police said. He refused to be transported to a hospital.

Reyes was charged with affray; Mora was charged with battery. Both were released on their own recognizance.

All in all, it was still the best birthday ever!